In a couple of hours I will hit a milestone in the booze snooze. 300 days. I am on the final countdown with 65 days to go. There is no doubt I will reach my goal. I am so excited and proud of myself for my determination, will power, and commitment. I have almost reached my destination.
But I am really tired right now.
This is weekend my dad went into Hospice care. I knew this time was coming but I am still not prepared for the emotions I am feeling right now. I am still trying to process my OM diagnosis and get my life in order before my surgery in 10 days. At the same time
I am praying that my dad holds on long enough for me to get through my surgeries. I am so worried I won’t be able to be with him in his final days. I am so tired I am physically sick. A bad upper respiratory cold and body aches and pains is my body screaming at me that it is worn out.
It is so brutally hard to watch my dad’s body slowly giving up.
I can can try to be positive because that is my usual mojo- but not tonight. Tonight I am crying in front of my kids. Tonight I am weeping as I write this.
Tonight I am on knees and surrendering.